I thought I was weak… until I wore a khimaar

I was wearing normal clothes…
Not too modest, but not too eye-catching.
I was walking among people, like them, no one paying attention to me, nor did I take a step toward me.

But inside… something was weighing me down.
Something uncomfortable.
I wasn’t comfortable going out, not in front of the mirror, not even while praying.

Every time I said to myself:
“When I’m ready, I’ll wear the hijab properly, and I’ll wear Islamic clothing.”

But when?

Who said I’d wake up one day suddenly ready?

And what makes me wait, when every day I feel like I’m missing something?

One night… I was returning from a long trip.

My phone went off, but my heart was racing.

I passed a woman wearing a hijab, her veil long and simple, walking calmly through the crowd.

As she walked, I felt a strange sense of comfort…

As if she were in the middle of a storm, but safe.

At that moment, I understood.

Curtainness isn’t just about covering the body.

Curtainness is about security… reassurance… and indescribable serenity.

The next day, I ordered a Malaysian khimar, made of lightweight fabric, and a practical, yet loose-fitting, Islamic outfit.

I didn’t know when I’d wear it,
but as soon as it arrived… I did.

My heart changed.

Not my appearance.

Not my clothes.

I… changed.

I, who thought I was weak,
learned that the strongest decision I can make… is made silently, with a clean piece of cloth, and with pure intention.