Hoda…and the outing that made me review all my friends

I thought I was ready.
I had my outfit ready: a soft navy niqab from Aswa, with a casual, brick-colored abaya.
The style was light but modest, and not flashy.
I was going to meet up with my school friends… we hadn’t seen each other in a long time.
We each went our separate ways, but we always came back to each other when we needed to unpack.

We sat at a table in an open-air café.
I was the first one to arrive.
The girls started arriving after them… As soon as they saw me, they paused for a moment.
A long stare… not one of longing, no, a look of: “So you’ve become like this?!”

The first one to approach me hugged me and said in a low voice, laughing:
– “Is that you? Or one of the Taliban?”

I laughed quietly,
but my heart was breaking.

We sat, and the world was going on… laughter, memories, old photos.
Until one of the girls – who was the closest to me back then – said while drinking:
“Really, Hoda… Don’t you feel like you’re suffocating yourself like this?
This isn’t a go-to outfit, this is a funeral outfit!”

I was shocked.
Not just by the words, but by the way they were spoken.
Not one of them defended herself.
Not even a single one said, “Leave her alone.”

I calmly responded:
“I’m comfortable like this… and the niqab isn’t a prison.
I’m not imprisoned… I chose this.”

She said to me:
“You didn’t choose this; you’re influenced.
All those who dress like this are laughing at themselves.
We’re in Egypt, not Saudi Arabia, Hoda!”

I was silent.
Not because I didn’t have an answer… but because the place and the people made me feel like the word wouldn’t get through.

All the girls I thought were my support…
were the first to pull my hand away when I went against their path.

I got up and walked ahead of them, without saying goodbye.
As I was leaving, one of the girls sitting at another table
looked at me and said:
“I don’t know you, but I saw you coming in…
I’ve been praying for you since the beginning of the session.
May God keep you steadfast.”

I smiled.
My tears were on the edge of my eyes.
God always sends me a word to save me.

I’m Hoda,
and my first outing after wearing the niqab was the last outing I had with people I considered my friends.
But still… it was a new beginning.

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💬 Share with us:
Who did you lose when you decided to wear Islamic clothing?
Did your friends keep their distance? Or did they stand by you?
Talk, confide… we really listen to you ♥️